Many years ago, I had stopped reading and writing altogether. I had been in a bad situation and it left me in a pretty bad place in life. Without going into too much detail, I was a newly single mother of a toddler and infant and had no idea what to do with my life. Depression wasn't quite the word for what I experienced. In the years following up to this event, reading and writing wasn't enjoyable. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and had nearly given up my passion. It wasn't until after my devastation that I decided to pick up a book to see if I could escape from my crumbling reality. I had forgotten what it felt like to be whisked away into the world between the pages and live inside of them. Shockingly, the first books I came back to were......
That's right, it was Twilight.
Now let me preface this WHOLE THING by telling you that I HATE bandwagon anything; movies, books, tv shows - doesn't matter. I didn't read Twilight before the first movie (which I actually watched online at work one day), and prior to the first movie I'd actually never heard of it.
So I watched the first movie online, thought it was so-so, and decided to give the book a try since I know books are typically better. While the writing wasn't phenomenal, the book was LEAPS and BOUNDS better than the movie and I found myself absorbed in it enough that I read all of the books in the series within about six days. Yes, you read that right - SIX DAYS!!
It wasn't Twilight that inspired Legacy of Secrets. It isn't fanfiction or based off of the characters. Rather it's the fuel added to the already smoldering fire that forced me to pick it all back up again.
You see, before all of this, I was quite literally numb inside. I had shut myself down emotionally because of what was occurring in my reality and I spent my days just going through the motions. I acted the part, but was utterly broken. But after picking up that first book and diving into that world, I began to feel again. I began to deal with the emotions that I had been too scared to experience because of how painful they were. My life was not pretty, but I was dealing.
New Moon was exceptionally difficult to read because of the abandonment issues I was dealing with, but it was also very therapeutic because I had an outlet. It's hard to not to see yourself in a character when you've literally been living the same existence. Uncanny, ain't it?
Fast forward, I honestly disliked the whole baby idea. I don't feel like Edward and Bella were able to be together without having to immediately deal with the parenthood aspect (which I should know about considering I've been one since I was 18). Not to mention it makes little to no sense that if a vampire woman doesn't have a living womb that a vampire man wouldn't have living sperm, but whatever. I still enjoyed the story, I just wish it had been done a bit differently near the end.
SO....after ALL that, I was inspired to finish writing my stories and reading more books. At one time, I was carrying 3-5 books with me that were at least 400-600 pages each. I am a very fast reader and always needed a back up (before having any ereaders). Cursed Secrets was finished not long after and thus began my journey.
Now, 5 books and many years later, I'm working on the last installments of LoS and at yet another standstill. Having my baby last year has put me in a bit of a rut, probably due to the lack of sleep! I've been trying to write whenever the feeling strikes, but I wouldn't get far before my mind would wander or complete cut me off. The writer's mind is a bitch!
Today, for shits and giggles, I decided to stream Twilight while I worked because I wanted to watch something other than Family Guy or Futurama (which are both on Netflix and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND). I hadn't expected to still identify with the story and relate to it as I had years ago and I certainly hadn't expected to gain any inspiration, but I found myself remembering those feelings I'd gotten when I first watched the movies and read the books and I was recharged.
Not ten minutes later, I was tapping away at Blood Promise with a good direction. Who would have thought that watching a C grade movie (be honest with yourself, it wasn't great) would do so much! I love the series for the story the books tell and the journey the characters take, not the movies and subpar acting aside from the very last movie - that one was done very well all around.
The point of this whole this was to say this - - Go with what what you know and what works. It's been very easy for me to make excuses because I wasn't looking for inspiration is the right places. I would have random thoughts pass through my mind for days, but never have the energy to put it to paper. I should have just picked up a book or movie SOO much sooner!
To be clear, I don't think it would have necessarily mattered if I had watched/read Twilight or any other story in a similar genre. I would have gotten the same basic fundamentals due to the aspects of the genre, but I can't say that this story doesn't occupy a special place in my mind. It may be cliche and it may sound stupid, but the themes of this story truly did help me work through my real life problems and I will forever be grateful.
So in conclusion, I need to take my newly rejuvenated inspiration and write my ass off!!
'Till next time!!!
I'm a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. My journey as a published author is in full swing and I'm inviting all my friends along for the ride!