Let's face it, life hits us with a ton of shit sometimes and all we can do is grit our teeth, clench our fists, and mow through the days. Is it easy? No. Is it fun? Hell no. But it is life and sometimes you have to decide how you're going to face it; head up and fast or head down and slow. I'm a head up and fast kind of person, which is exactly why I've been out of the game for so long.
In a very short period of time, a lot of things kind of fell apart and together simultaneously. Getting married, getting pregnant, getting sick, being on disability and bed rest due to the pregnancy, getting better and going back to work, having the baby, being on maternity leave, going back to work and dealing with the sleepless nights that come with a new baby, and now dealing with having a toddler again after eight or so years and maintaining my other kids, as well. My older two sons are great with their little brother, but mom is still a tired mess because working full time and sleeping around four or five hours a night kicks my ass. But...I'm alive and kicking and doing what I've gotta do in spite of it all. I know this phase of his little life will go by quickly, so all I can hope is that I will be able to maintain momentum.
One thing that has happened, though, is my continued and ever-growing struggle with my anxiety. I absolutely love my children with every fiber of my being, but there are only so many times I can restart the same three or four movies on Netflix or read the same cardboard books before my brain starts to melt inside my skull and I'm left with pudding between my ears. I have been so focused on giving everything as needed that I haven't taken the necessary time for myself and my mental health. I have had several break downs and mood swings have been a regular thing. My poor husband has endured, although I'm sure there have been plenty of times he wished I came with a mute button. Oh well, it's what he signed up for.
So recently, I've decided to slowly step back into the things that made my mind happy. Reading, writing, imagining, creating...all of those things were like breathing for me for so long and I have mostly forgotten it all. You'd think with having as much time off as I did, I would have made progress, but nope (lol). The monster on my back got the best of me and instead of keeping it at bay by feeding my creativity, I let it feed every single ounce of self-doubt and self-loathing I possess. Needless to say, it's been an interesting and not exactly fun ride and I'm ready to move forward.
Luckily, many of my previous contacts in the blogging and writing communities are still valid so I've managed to pick back up where I left off, mostly. I've lucked out and actually had some new folks jump on board and join my Beta Readers Group to help me with future work! It's exciting to meet new people so eager to help me and I have to admit that I'm feeling the new author jitters again! It feels like the first time, y'all!!
My goals are big for this year, but I'm confident that if I stick to my guns, I'll hit them with little trouble. Firstly, I will be publishing a completely different work Falling Undercover. It's a romantic suspense novel and something exceptionally different from LoS, but it's very exciting! I'm not sure if it's going to have any serial aspect, but I'll probably leave it open enough for the possibility later.
After that, I'll be releasing a retitled and revamped work Thea's Reawakening. This novel will kick off a type of shifter series that will be a side-project for when I need a fun little to-do. Likely, these will be shorter novels, but novels none the less. I don't know if they'll all be connected yet, but wouldn't it be fun! I'm thinking something along the lines of Terry Spear's The World of Fae novels (which I absolutely LOVE).
Lastly, but certainly never least, I have some pretty massive work ahead to finish on Legacy of Secrets. Guys, I'm gonna be honest, I don't know exactly how many books I have left. It could be three, it could be four, but I'm hoping for the latter. Not because I don't want to keep the story alive, but because I have other stories BEGGING to be written and I'm not very good with multitasking my stories. It's been WAY too long since I've released something as it is, I don't want to have another three or four year hiatus because I'm trying to perfect the story. However, I can't push it because then the story will be shit and I can't have that either! So, I just ask you be patient with me and know that I will be doing my best to tie up all the LoS loose ends and do the story some justice.www.amazon.com/Lisa-Logue/e/B007FG4XCI/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1520998961&sr=1-1
I think that's all I've got for now. I'll come back in a few days and write something else while I procrastinate from the writing I should be doing (HA!). Good night all and don't hesitate to drop me a line or even join my beta group I've linked above!!
There has been a lot of buzz among the indie publishing community about authors who are deciding to no longer publish because of how hard it is to break through. While I understand this sentiment, if that's the only reason why you're writing, then maybe you shouldn't publish anymore.
I don't write with the intention of selling millions of books, although that would be my dream and has been since I was a young girl. I write because I have stories to tell and characters who deserve voices and because I love it. It is my craft. It is my therapy. It is one of the only things I have to actually call my own in this world. Why should I let the opinion of others diminish that for me?
Look, I am by no means faulting these authors. This is a tough business. The people in this industry are brutal. If you are original, no one wants to take a chance. If you are too similar, you will be considered a hack. The majority of the successful authors fall somewhere in the middle and I'm not too sure how much of that is by chance rather than choice. Sometimes people do what they must to survive and likely, this is the case with many authors in the world now.
Would I love to be a best selling author and have movies or TV shows made about the characters and worlds I create? You bet your ass I would, but just because it's not happening, that doesn't mean I need to give up on something I love and has been such a huge part of my life. I may not have a gift. I may be a talentless fool. But at the end of the day, if I'm doing what I love, what does it matter?
The bottom line: if you truly are in love with what you do, you won't be able to stop because nothing will feel right if you do. If sales matter more to you than your craft, it might be time to take a break and reevaluate why you started in the first place. Never let anyone take away something you love.
Life is full of crossroads.
Some of us look for pros and cons before making a decision and some of us just go with our gut. What holds true to all of us is that often these choices have us facing things in life we hadn't expected. While, at the time, we might be struggling or feeling as if we can't push on, we are learning a lesson desperately needed to put us on the necessary path.
I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. I believe the universe puts us on certain paths to learn certain things as a means to understand our existence and share our knowledge with others. We are here to learn and grow and make those who come after us wiser by sharing the knowledge of the universe.
As a writer, I often pour my emotions into my work as well as life experiences, to a degree. I haven't experienced everything my characters have, mostly because I don't live in an actual fantasy world (how I wish!), but I can empathize with how they may react in certain situations.
So why the post? I'm coming to a crossroads, myself. How do I choose which way to go? Do I need to abandon something I love for something necessary? Is there a way to keep everything in my life? Is this one of those times that the lesson means more than the thing I'm giving up?
How do I choose when it's all important to me in one way or another? Deep down, I think I know what my decision needs to be, but I still want to be sure that I'm making the right choice. I've come to the apex of things and will need to make a choice soon, but I don't quite know what I should choose.
How do you make important choices? What do you weigh when deciding things?
As I finish one project, I find myself longing to write more and more until I just can't write any longer. Then I remember that I have a full time job, a part time job, two kids, a husband and a dog and that pretty much stops me short. I envy those who can literally devote everything to writing. I wish my husband made enough money so I could stay home to pursue my dream, but he doesn't. I wish that my part time business was full time and I didn't have a regular job so I could make my own hours, but as my grandmother used to say...want in one hand and shit in the other!
It seems cynical, when really it's just me being realistic. I was not born or married into privilege, so I have to work hard for everything we have. Not to say I don't enjoy being able to have a thriving household, but I'd rather it be doing something I love instead of something I like. I guess the bright side is that I don't actually hate my 8-5 gig.
At the end of the day, all I can do is make the best of my days and times. It can be difficult, but it seems I live to hustle and even when I'm not working - I'm working. My brain is always ten steps ahead no matter what I'm doing, which tends to include sleeping. The only thing left to do is keep pushing forward and hope for better things to come.
I'm a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. My journey as a published author is in full swing and I'm inviting all my friends along for the ride!