One month. That's all that's left of 2015. I keep looking back on this year, trying to figure out whether I've actually accomplished anything. I feel like I've been running in place, grasping at straws and making an all out ass of myself. I can't be alone in this, right?
It seems I like to just fly by the seat of my pants most days and that doesn't work for me. I know it doesn't work, but I've done little to fix it. NO MORE. I am putting some new things into place in December that will help to keep me engaged with my "fans" and connections, free up my computer time to do things that are actually productive and give me some much needed time to spend with my family.
One of the most frustrating parts of this business is the saturation of the market. There are SO MANY authors out there who've published in some capacity. A good portion of them are great, but there are those who need more practice that are ruining it for the rest of us. I hate to sound like I'm full of myself (which if you've read any of my work at all, you know that's not me), but I like to think my talent is at least above the average author. When I see other authors see success when their skill level is lacking, to put it nicely, I get extremely discouraged. Not to say that their stories aren't wonderful, but the delivery leaves something to be desired in some cases.
But I digress. My personal feelings about the publishing world is pretty much irrelevant. Every author dreams of something bigger and I'm no different. Unfortunately, I just don't have those types of connections to make it happen, which is why I have been struggling as of late. I'm sure you've seen me say "Procrastination is my superpower" at some point and I am definitely not lying about that. Sometimes, it gets so bad that I'm up until 6 am just trying to finish a scene or task. It can get pretty ridiculous. This is also why I'm working on correcting my terrible behavior!
That being said, I hope to have another book coming out around the first of the year that is completely different from everything else. You might have seen Falling Undercover listed on my social media or even seen the page on my website. It is a romantic suspense novel that I hope won't completely suck :p.
Well, I'm off to write for about an hour before I have to sleep to go back to my real life job (highly overrated, I know). Happy reading, loves!
It's just a whisper below the surface,
inescapable and maddening beyond imagination.
Push it down to make it disappear,
but that's not a permanent solution.
You drown in the fear and doubt,
it's constant despite what you know is true.
Still your mind betrays everything,
you become someone that only looks like you.
I wish I had the answers,
if there was anything to make it go away.
But I am truly broken,
there's nothing else I can do or say.
We've all heard of skeletons,
but no one talks about the ghosts.
They possess everything,
destroying the things that matter most.
I'm tired of being haunted,
driven mad by pain that should be gone.
None of it should matter anymore,
it's been much too long.
How do I banish them?
I need to be able to breathe again.
So tired of suffocating,
choking on what happened then.
If this doesn't change,
I'll lose everything I've worked so hard for.
If I can't fix my broken mind,
the world will crash around me for sure.
I'm a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. My journey as a published author is in full swing and I'm inviting all my friends along for the ride!