It's just a whisper below the surface,
inescapable and maddening beyond imagination. Push it down to make it disappear, but that's not a permanent solution. You drown in the fear and doubt, it's constant despite what you know is true. Still your mind betrays everything, you become someone that only looks like you. I wish I had the answers, if there was anything to make it go away. But I am truly broken, there's nothing else I can do or say. We've all heard of skeletons, but no one talks about the ghosts. They possess everything, destroying the things that matter most. I'm tired of being haunted, driven mad by pain that should be gone. None of it should matter anymore, it's been much too long. How do I banish them? I need to be able to breathe again. So tired of suffocating, choking on what happened then. If this doesn't change, I'll lose everything I've worked so hard for. If I can't fix my broken mind, the world will crash around me for sure. -Lisa Logue
0 Comments
If you've kept up with any of my previous posts, you'd know that I'm a bit of a work-a-holic. Aside from writing, I have a full time job and a home based business. I am also a wife and mother and pretty much tired all the time as a result. HOWEVER....I sometimes think that if I didn't have these things, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I mean, after YEARS of constantly working on projects in what little spare time I have, when I decide not to do anything at all, I feel like a bum. Crazy, right? Turns out, I think I might be addicted to this life. I try very hard to make time for everything, but I struggle, depending on what needs more attention at the time. There may be a time where I decide not to pursue all of my current ventures, but I can't bring myself to let anything go right now. So, please tell me I'm not the only one? Or am I? In real life I am not an awesome superhero who writes epic sagas about love, loss and adventure; I am a nerd. I know, I know, you're thinking "DUH!". Basically, I work as a support specialist in an IT department which consists of dealing with website, software and various reporting as is necessary to my job. One thing that makes my life easier is the use of dual monitors. Now, if you've never heard of such a phenomena, this is when two monitors are side-by-side with a continuous display (in my case) that allows the user to move fluidly between screens and the use of many different windows open simultaneously without the need to minimize the most frequently used. Some people use many monitors, but so far, two is working pretty well for me. At least it was at work, but my PC at home has been severely lacking in this department for quite some time. Today, I lucked out and acquired two 17" monitors that were on the verge of being trashed and brought them home for the hubby and myself. After a nerve-wracking trip to Best Buy, we managed to get all of the adapters we needed and came home to one of the quickest dual monitor setups I've ever encountered (thankfully). Recently I upgraded to Windows 10, so that's a bit of a learning curve in and of itself, but I managed. The hubby, in his wonderment, took on the aspect of getting his background pictures to match up perfectly and adjust the heights of the monitors perfectly. Not to mention setting up his WoW to run seamlessly with his new tech. It's been an eventful night! What makes this a confession is the fact that I was actually giddy about the prospect of finally having a dual monitor setup at home. Yes, I was giddy. Something like this usually isn't exciting for people. In fact, unless they deal with computers on a regular basis, it may even intimidate them. But for me, I was giddy and couldn't wait to get it setup. How's that for feeling like a complete goob? So, the moral of the story is....if you're going to be a nerd, be proud of it. You never know when the next super awesome tech will come out and completely blow your mind and that is 100% okay. Live long and prosper! Lisa xoxoxoxo
I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who lives through the "when it rains, it pours" mentality, but damn it's been a hurricane lately. It's hard to keep your head when everything seems to be falling apart, but then again, that's kind of the point of life, right? I mean, we're built to survive, even when we're at the worst points in life. At least that's what I choose to believe.
As a writer, I live vicariously through my characters. The loves, losses, adventures and everything in between fills the parts of me that craves these things. So what if it's all in my head? I can say that at least I've lived it in a sense. Reading is the only thing you can do that provides endless lives to live and relive. You can be in Narnia one day and the next in Forks, WA. Writers get to create those worlds and then relive them again and again. It's no wonder some of us go insane. Until next time.... I'm not sure if any authors are like me, but after pouring my brain into a story, I need to recharge. I envy those who can just pick up story after story without needing a break or time in between. I envy them, but I'm also glad I'm not one of them. Having this time gives me the opportunity to read novels I may have put off because of working on my book, which there are many burning a hole through my Nook and Kindle (yes I have both). Sometimes it also gives me the time to plot and plan my next book because they don't always flow from the start. Lastly, but most importantly, I have to make time to spend with my family or on other business ventures I partake in (I'm a workaholic). I will never NOT be a writer (I know, terrible grammar there). Since I was seven, I've been writing in some form or fashion and I know this is what my passion truly is. Maybe I'm wired differently or maybe I'm only destined to write books that can only be counted on two hands. Either way, I crave the interim almost as much as the month long writing binges. We all need an obsession just the same as we need the distractions. I'm off! |
AuthorI'm a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. My journey as a published author is in full swing and I'm inviting all my friends along for the ride! Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|